Allison @ The Movies

It's A Long Road To 200

2011-01-01T10:51:00.002-05:00

So this didn’t really work in 2010. Let’s try again this year.

I’d like to see 200 different movies in theaters in 2011, but I'm starting a week late and my main movie companion balked at this number. I guess I’ll be happy if I make it to 126.

A Letter to The Regal Entertainment Group

2010-05-23T17:11:00.000-04:00

May 23, 2010
Regal Entertainment Group
Attn: Customer Relations
7132 Regal Lane
Knoxville, TN 37918

Dear Regal Entertainment Group,
My name is Allison Hurwitz and I frequent your theaters quite often. Last year, I went to the theater 110 times. Not all of these trips were to a Regal, but you get the idea. I see anywhere from 2 - 5 movies a week, and I usually go to a Regal.

I never have any major problems with your theaters. That is, until Friday, May 21, 2010.

I had planned to see The Back-up Plan (don’t judge me) at 9:10 PM at the Regal Plymouth Meeting 10 at 1011 W. Ridge Pike, Conshohocken, PA 19428. Unfortunately, I had to use the restroom before purchasing my ticket.

The women’s room located in the lobby was in such a state that it looked as though it had never been cleaned. Aside from the walls of the stalls being too narrow and the toilets themselves being entirely too low to the floor, the stalls were filthy. The floor was wet and littered with toilet paper. The toilet seats were wet and broken. There was barely any soap in the dispenser; there was no hot water coming from the sink; and the hand dryer had the weakest, coldest stream of air imaginable.

My experience in this bathroom is what made me decide against purchasing a ticket at this theatre.

I’ve never been in such a disgusting bathroom. And never before have I let the state of a bathroom influence my decision to see a movie. But I just couldn’t justify buying a ticket to The Back-up Plan and supporting a theater that doesn’t have a clean bathroom. Food and drink are sold at this establishment; as such, the bathrooms should be clean as food and drink can make a person have to use the bathroom.

After this eye-opening experience at this particular Regal Theater, I will never again see a movie at the Regal Plymouth Meeting 10. I hope you will do something to rectify the condition of the restrooms at this location.

Thank you.

Sincerely yours,

Allison Hurwitz

Daybreakers @ Regal Marketplace at Oaks Stadium 24

2010-01-24T09:36:00.002-05:00

Another fine day at the cinema with my mom. Don’t worry, it was rather uneventful.

We went to see Daybreakers in Oaks yesterday. I like this theater for a couple of reasons:

1. Their snack quality seems to be higher than other Regals (although King of Prussia is by far superior)

2. They sometimes show lesser known movies. And certainly show movies for a longer period of time than other theaters

3. There is a game room on the premises

4. Not a lot of people go there

Unless you’re seeing something like Avatar the day after Christmas, I don’t foresee you running into any problems as far as tickets or seating goes.

For a Saturday, the theater was empty. There were a few moviegoers in our specific theater, but I’d be surprised if Oaks made any money off of this particular screening. Maybe this is due to the fact that we saw Daybreakers, but we like vampires and Willem Dafoe so BACK OFF!

Before the movie started, I had to use the facilities. And the one thing that irks me about Oaks is the bathroom set up. There are two ginormous bathrooms on either side of the lobby. It’s insane - there are probably 30 stalls in each one. But beyond the lobby where the individual theaters are, there is one bathroom on each side. In each of these smaller bathrooms is just 2 stalls and 1 sink. It’s a little uncomfortable if you have to use one of these smaller bathrooms and someone is in there with you. Awkward!

Because the theater Daybreakers was in was the furthest one away from the lobby, I chose (against my better judgement) to use a small bathroom. I went in and it was empty. But the first stall was out of order, so I enter the handicap stall. Big mistake - it looks like someone had their period all over the toilet seat. I bolt.

I get caught in a crowd of mothers and their children who have just seen some kids’ movie and we are all headed toward the bathroom in the lobby. I finally make to the bathroom (just barely) and then back to the theater.

After the movie, I didn’t have to go to the bathroom again (I’m young, my kidneys are strong) so I waited for my mom in the lobby. By the time we got to my car and I started thinking about traffic and how long it would take to get home, my body caught up with and I want to go to the bathroom before I get on the road. This shouldn’t be a problem, right?

The funny thing about Oaks is that this theater has one ticket ripper. He stands at the front of the lobby so that you must present your ticket before getting to the snack bar, the game room, and most importantly the bathroom. I don’t have a ticket to get into the theater. I have a ticket stub and I am also very stealth. I tell this kid that I left my scarf in the theater (if he were observant, he would know I wasn’t even wearing a coat) and he tells me I have to wait for someone to take me back there. I don’t want to wait for someone - there is no scarf and I have to pee! After a couple of minutes, he realizes that his coworkers don’t care, so he lets me go back by myself. I sneak just far enough back to make it seem like I am going to that theater. When he turns his head, I run for the bathroom in the lobby. SUCCESS!

If Oaks were logical about the placement of their ticket rippers, I could just go in and pee without all the drama… and they would probably make more money because not as many people would be able to sneak in.

The Lovely Bones @ Regal Brandywine Town Center 16

2010-01-16T14:26:00.002-05:00

Like most people, I get excited when I movie is filmed near where I live. So imagine my excitement when The Lovely Bones was filmed at the now defunct MacDade Mall - a mere 7 minutes from house.

I waited so long to see this movie, that I decided to take my mom for an afternoon viewing of it on opening day (January 15th). What problems could we run into? Most people have school or work.

We arrived in the general area of the theater early so we could do lunch beforehand. Because it was rather early, we stopped at the theater to purchase our tickets, that way we could walk right in when we went back there. The parking lot was practically empty - a good sign. We bought the tickets and went on our way.

Lunch took a little longer than expected (that always happens to us) and we got back to the theater a tad later than I would have liked (because I’m insane about being on time for movies). The lot was packed now, and it took forever to find a spot. I even had to flip off these old people who almost hit my car.

The parking lot was an indication of how the theater itself would be. The line at the concession was a mile long. Never before have I seen so many at the movies in the middle of the day! I sent my mom to get our seats while I stood in line for sodas.

The movie started at 12:50 PM; I didn’t get to the front of the concession line until 12:51! Seriously, maybe they should have an express lane for people like me who know what they want and don’t have kids.

As I walked to theater (which just so happened to be the one furthest from the lobby), I overheard 2 girls in front of me (also going to The Lovely Bones) say that it was in the wrong theater. Sure enough, the theater numbered on the ticket was showing Sherlock Holmes. I knew my mom would be in the Sherlock theater. The ticket ripper told her to go to that one, and the ticket had that theater on it.

Still, I went into The Lovely Bones theater first. The lights were out, the previews were on, and it was packed! I scanned the top row, hoping my mom had found her way into the theater. She was nowhere to be found. Hurriedly, I ran into the Sherlock theater, still carrying 2 sodas, and found my mom in the near-empty theater. I was so pissed (at the Regal employees, not my mom) that I shouted “Mom, this is wrong theater!”

In the midst of my nervous breakdown, my mom suggested we get our tickets refunded, but I really wanted to see this movie. We climbed to the top of the dark theater and found empty seats in the top row. Just as we were about to sit down, a c***faced woman informed me that those seats were for her kids. Note that there were 5 open seats. Also note that my mom needs to sit somewhere that she can stretch her legs (top row) because she has arthritis in her knees.

We took seats in the next row, and the nice old people moved down so we could all have some room. How wonderful! The movie is starting and there is ample space (3 seats) between us and the old people. C***face’s kids come in. There are only 3 of them. Yet there are 5 seats in that row. I suppose if c***face hadn’t been such a bitch, we could have avoided what comes next.

We’re now about 15 minutes into the movie and I see 3 women come into the theater. Really? Just go home. You already missed 15 minutes of it!

I have really bad luck. I also have a sixth sense of where people are going to seat in conjunction with me in a theater. I knew these women (actually a mother and her 2 teenage daughters) were going to sit next to me… even though, the row in front of me is set up the same way (3 open middle seats).

Mommy Dearest and the ugly stepsisters try to sit in the row in front of me. The people in that row are very accommodating and move their coats. Yet, Mommy Dearest says “Oh, never mind,” having spotted the open seats in my row. I am still confused as to why she chose to sit in my row. I can understand not wanting to disrupt someone (especially 15 minutes into a movie!), but she was now going to disrupt me. I had to move my and my mom’s coats. Now I am pissed.

They sit down and begin to chatter. I let it go. I figured they were just getting settled. They weren’t. Not only were these 3 women talking throughout the movie, Mommy Dearest’s phone continually flashed. She must have had the world’s thinnest purse because I could see this flashing out of the corner of my eye for the entire movie. To make matters even worse, Mommy Dearest is stating really obvious things about the movie. Or even just saying stupid stuff (“Look at her with that cigarette”; “Oh, she’s leaving” - NO SHIT!).

How dense are some people? How many times do I need to say “Shut the fuck up” for you to shut the fuck up? You are ruining the movie for everyone. Are you even able to enjoy it at this point?

Finally, the movie ends. These bitches push right past us to leave the theater. RUDE!

We made our escape to the parking lot (and considering how crowded it was, I had a pretty choice spot). If you have ever been to the Regal Brandywine Town Center, you know that in order to exit the main parking lot, you have to loop around. As we were looping around, who should we see? Mommy Dearest and the ugly stepsisters. I did what any self-respecting Philadelphian (by Philadelphian, I mean a suburbanite who resides just outside of Philly) would do. I flipped them off. I try to keep this to a minimum when my mom’s in the car, but they deserved it. I had no greater enjoyment that day than seeing these three women turn in shocked bewilderment to look at my car, trying to figure out who flipped them off and why.

Hahaha!

As we continue to speed down Naamans Road, hoping we don’t get caught at a red light with these women next to us, I look down at my middle finger on my right (my weapon of choice) and there is black gunk on my fingernail.

“Eww! What is that?” I am horrified. It looks like the that black stuff from Spider-Man 3.

“You’ve been marked! God’s marked you because you flipped those women off.”

Cue the hysterical laughter. Just another day at the movies.

P.S. - This is not the first time a theater mix up has happened at a Regal movie theater for me. And it always seems to happen on opening day. I have sent a feedback postcard to Regal’s head office. I hope to score some free movie tickets out of this!

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus at The Ritz @ The Bourse

2010-01-09T11:03:00.003-05:00

Last night, I had the pleasure of seeing the long anticipated Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.

I sometimes get to movies really early. Last night was no exception. After eating at Pagoda, Chris and I walked over to the Ritz @ The Bourse. In the upstairs lobby, there was what appeared to be a homeless black man sitting on a bench.

I was convinced he was homeless. I assumed he had come into the lobby because of how extremely cold it was last night. I even urged Chris to buy this man some coffee or something warm (he didn’t).

About a half hour before show time, we went downstairs to linger around the doors of the theater. As more people started to filter into the downstairs lobby, they assumed that I was the front of the line and lined up behind me. This was not the case, as no one but my own insanity instructed me to stand there. Sure enough, by the time the theater was open, my line had wrapped around the entire lobby.

Perhaps the patrons of Regal Edgmont should take a note from those at the Ritz @ The Bourse.

We got our seats. Back row on the right side section. Yay!

I sent Chris to get me a Sprite (The Ritz theaters have the most delicious tasting Sprite. I don’t know what they do to that syrup, but I’m a fan). As I waited for his return, The Creeper walked in.

I should give you some background on The Creeper.

Last summer, Chris and I went to a midnight showing of Rosemary’s Baby in this same exact theater. A weird man who I thought sure to be a witch looking for tips on Satanism came in and put his jacket on a seat in the row in front of us. He left the theater and returned with a medium soda and scone. Delightful! While we waited for the film start, it appeared to me that this man was talking to himself. Not out loud, but moving his tongue behind his lips and making movements with his head like he was talking. It took some time, but Chris saw it too. During Rosemary’s Baby, the man who is now known as The Creeper was laughing uncontrollably and not during funny parts. It was rather uncomfortable.

So last night The Creeper followed the same routine. He put his coat on a seat in the row in front of me and left the theater. As soon as Chris came back with my beverage, I informed him that The Creeper was there and maybe we should move (he is creepy and disruptive). Chris didn’t believe me, as usual. And so we sat. The Creeper returned with a medium soda and a scone, as predicted by me, and started talking to himself again. Can we move now? No, because the theater is too crowded.

It gets worse.

The theater is pretty crowded by now and the previews are starting. A young guy and girl come in and after much searching decide to sit in front of me (next to The Creeper). The Creeper now moves. Where to, you ask? My row. The Creeper is in my fucking row! To make matters worse, that young guy and girl have two friends coming. And they are talking to each other during the previews (I guess it’s not as bad as The Creeper talking to himself).

Just before the movie starts, I hear a door open behind me into the weird handicap section. Guess who it is! The homeless black man. Not homeless, just arrived to the theater extremely early like yours truly.

Minutes into the movie, the chatter from the row in front of me starts. And it’s obvious. Not only do I have to hear them talking (and not about Imaginarium related stuff), I have to see them lean into each other. And The Creeper is, of course, laughing at inappropriate times.

I survived the movie, barely. I sensed some weird vibes from The Creeper, like maybe he knows that he creeps me out. Maybe he knows I took a very dark picture of him on my phone. I just hope I don’t run into him again.

Nine @ Regal Edgmont

2010-01-02T22:30:00.001-05:00

I started the year off slowly with Nine. Musicals aren’t my thing, but I had seen just about everything else that was playing.

To my surprise, the Regal Edgmont was rather crowded. And it seemed that a lot of people were going to see Nine. This really wasn’t a concern for me, as Chris (my boyfriend) and I were the first people there for Nine. You would think that we would be the first people in the theater, right?

Wrong. As it turns out, Regal Edgmont doesn’t really have a system for lining people up before the theater is cleaned. So I was trapped in a sea of old people (mostly women) who couldn’t figure out if theater #9 or the movie Nine was seating. Annoying!

We did manage to get a seat in the back of an extremely small theater just in time to watch a “rap” video about washing your hands to prevent Swine Flu. This video featured high school kids and took place in a school. Seems pointless to play such a video before a movie being viewed by 90% old people.

The movie was awful. Mind-numbing. At one point, I was playing Bejeweled on my phone.

Not one of the worst theater experiences, but definitely one of the worst movies I have seen.

At The Movies

2010-01-01T19:17:00.001-05:00

I see a lot of movies. And in theaters too. In 2009, I met a goal of mine. I saw 100 movies in theaters in one year!

At the end of 2008 when I realized that I had seen about 75 movies, I thought “why not 100?” So I set out to see 100 movies in 2009. I didn’t see 100 great movies. I saw some amazing films, some great flicks, and a few movies that I downright despise. On the whole, I enjoyed most of them.

This blog isn’t about the movies I’ve seen (you can read that here). This is about my experience at the theater. If I learned anything in 2009, it’s that I can exceed 100 movies in 2010. And I will. And I will document my theatergoing experience for you here. That may not seem very exciting to you, but I beg to differ. You may think that seeing a movie in the theater is simply sitting in a dark room for 2 hours.

But it’s so much more than that. 2009 was a very eventful year in theaters for me. I broke out in hives when I saw G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra; the sound system crapped out when I saw The Hangover; I yelled at the handicapped ticket-ripper when I took my mom and aunt to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince in IMAX; I went to a guerilla drive-in thanks to Mike and Lisa. This is exciting stuff, at least in my mind.

So here goes another year at the movies...